


The one who felt too much and the one who tried not to feel at all

by Ihni



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Poetry, Rhymes, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:58:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2753654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihni/pseuds/Ihni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the Sterek Secret Santa. Beta'd by tigerpip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The one who felt too much and the one who tried not to feel at all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TroubleIWant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TroubleIWant/gifts).



Everything he’s ever felt has always been too strong  
Many cannot handle it: they find it weird and wrong  
His parents watched him love too much and ending up alone  
The others played together but their son was on his own

Early on he learned that he must hide it all away  
And never show his feelings if he wants his friends to stay  
He found that if he hid behind a humourous facade  
People wouldn’t notice that he was a little flawed

He found a girl – perfection: she was pretty, strong and smart  
She didn’t even look at him, but he gave her his heart  
He latched onto her, and in a way he was in luck;  
for his feelings rolled off her like water off a duck

She was safe, he figured, since she’d never like him back  
(Or notice him, or talk to him, or ever cut him slack)  
The years went by, and she was – as she’d always been – adored  
He, though, was – without fail – continuously ignored 

He found a friend who didn’t run, and that was pretty great  
They played and joked and laughed and fought and stayed up pretty late  
Life was good; he had a friend, a girl (his holy grail)  
And then all that got fucked up when he met Derek Hale

***

Derek had been burned before, in every single way  
He’d lost it all – his family, his home – and couldn’t stay  
He had trusted someone once, and that was a mistake  
One he’d never do again while breathing and awake

He roamed around for years, with his sister by his side  
Then she wanted to go back to where their family died  
He refused to go and wouldn’t listen to her pleas  
So she went alone, and left a feeling of unease

He didn’t hear from her for days, and he was sick with worry  
Eventually, he followed her, feeling he should hurry  
Luck was never on his side, nor was God or fate  
Sure, he found his sister, but by then it was too late

She had been the only person he had cared about  
The only one to calm him down when he had acted out  
His only living family, the only to survive  
Now everyone was gone; he was the last one left alive

He locked his feelings in and swore he’d never let them out  
So-called ”love”, betrayal – those things he could do without  
He carried onwards, forwards, though this hell with all his trials  
And everything went well until the day that he met Stiles

***

Derek Hale was _interesting_ ; broody, silent, hot  
Seemed to growl more than he talked, and Stiles liked that a lot  
So he did what he did best and ran into danger  
For a person who was, until recently, a stranger

Stiles fell hard for Derek who was strong and dark and gruff  
Stiles felt like a junkie, and he couldn’t get enough  
So he pushed and pushed him to get some kind of reaction  
And talked back to cover up his one-sided attraction

He knew that Derek hated him, and he was not concerned  
At least he knew for certain that his love was not returned  
He figured that it would be worse if he’d have had a chance  
As it was, though, he dealt with his failure in advance

So on they went, through thick and thin, without a single change  
He snarked, and Derek snarked right back, and none of it was strange  
Stiles faced danger constantly, it would hurt and bruise him  
And he did it willingly, for Derek; scared to lose him

***

Stiles was so _infuriating_ ; stubborn, reckless, strong  
He never failed to point out when and how Derek was wrong  
Stiles was brave, intelligent – and teasing, loyal, bold  
He would never stay away or do as he was told

Derek first thought that Stilinski was a spoiled brat  
A spazzy, motor-mouthed and annoying one, at that  
As time passed, Stiles proved Derek’s assumptions incorrect  
And Derek wouldn’t mention it, but Stiles earned his respect

Respect that turned to puzzlement, then something undefined  
The kid had wormed his way into his life, his heart, his mind  
No one else had managed that in many lonely years  
That Stiles was unaware of this eased some of Derek’s fears

For Derek was afraid for him; afraid to get him hurt  
So he drove him into walls and grabbed him by his shirt  
He tried his best to push this kid to safety and away  
But Stiles pushed back and stood his ground and would just not obey

***

Derek could be fearsome, and violent and scary  
He made Stiles feel awake, and on the edge, and wary  
Sometimes all the tension made him feel it all too much  
And Stiles had to force himself to not reach out and _touch_

For Derek didn’t leave him, and he was always there  
Even though he made it very clear he didn’t care  
Stiles knew he wasn’t wanted, and it broke his heart  
But he told himself that he had known it from the start

Derek was untouchable, an outlet for his love  
He’d enjoy the little things; a growl, a threat, a shove  
For even though it hurt and the cons outweighed the pros  
It was the only way for him to touch him; to get close

***

Stiles would drive him crazy with the things he did and said  
And Derek just kept pushing, when he should have turned and fled  
For every time he touched him or got close was such a rush  
It was pretty clear that this was not a simple crush 

But Stiles would never love him, and that was for the best  
Although it made him hurt inside, and left him quite depressed  
He hid behind a scowly face, kept all his pain inside  
For Stiles deserved much better than what Derek could provide

Stiles deserved a happy life; no danger and no pain  
He was sunshine, rays of light – and Derek? He was rain  
”Never good enough”, whispered the voices in his head  
For Stiles was Life incarnated – and Derek? He felt dead

***

When he thought that no one saw him, Derek looked so sad  
Even though he tried to act so tough, he wasn’t bad  
And Stiles saw the kind of man that Derek was, and knew  
That Derek had been damaged by the things he had been through

And where, before, he’d felt only attraction and devotion  
It now evolved into an unexplainable emotion  
For he knew that Derek’s life so far was kinda crappy  
And now he found that all he wished was that he would be happy

***

Derek wasn’t good enough for Stiles, that was a fact  
He was dangerous as well; he got them all attacked  
If not for him, Stiles would have been happy, safe and sound  
(If not for Stiles, Derek would – with certainty – have drowned) 

If Stiles got hurt because of him … that was what Derek feared  
It would be better for them all if Derek disappeared  
Lost family, lost love, lost hope – there was a lot to grieve  
Yet something there inside his chest just wouldn’t let him leave

***

Stiles wasn’t good enough for Derek, that was true  
He wanted Derek happy, but did not know what to do  
Maybe he should back away and give the guy some space?  
And maybe he should tell him without trying to save face?

***

Derek had decided; he’d be leaving Beacon Hills  
Yet the thought of leaving Stiles behind gave him the chills  
But first he must explain to Stiles just why he had to leave  
And then he could be gone, and disappear; alone to grieve

***

”What are you, _insane_?” It was the last thing he’d expected  
He’d come to Stiles’ home, feeling rather disconnected  
While he spoke he looked away; did not meet Stiles’ eyes  
So when he finally looked up he got a huge surprise

”You’re insane, you know that, right? You cannot leave me here!  
So after all the shit that we’ve been through you’ll disappear?”  
Stiles was scared, his face a mask of anger and of pain  
”You cannot leave me, Derek, you’re the one who’s kept me sane.”

Derek’s eyebrows furrowed, he didn’t understand  
All he knew was that this talk did not go as he had planned  
Stiles, oblivious, went on: ”I’m weak, I know, it’s true  
But please don’t leave, I don’t think I could do this without you”

”I know you do not like me, I never thought you would  
But you deserve much better, stuff that’s nice and warm and good  
You don’t care, but I feel that we’re friends at least – as such;  
I cannot let you leave your home … I love you way too much”

The last was said with eyes adverted, a blush on Stiles’ face  
Derek, sure that he’d misheard the last words, froze in place  
”What?” he finally managed, and Stiles blushed even more  
He mumbled ”Nothing”, but this wasn’t something to ignore

”Did you say you love me?” Stiles looked up.”Well yes- or NO!  
I mean, well … yeah, I did, I love you, there. Well, now you know.”  
Derek said: ”I must have died. Is this heaven or hell?  
’Cause I am pretty sure that I’m in love with you as well.”

Derek’s turn to blush now, and it made Stiles gape  
”You’re kidding me? Okay, no way you’re going to escape  
If you are joking now, know that a joke like that is cruel  
And it’s not done between two friends, that’s kind of like a rule”

”I wasn’t joking, why? Were you?” ”No” - And there they stood  
Looking at each other, in silence, feeling … good  
No longer pretending, no more need to lie or hide  
Cautiously, they smiled; Stiles stepped aside: ”Please come inside?”

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing relevant, nor do I pretend to know how to do these things.


End file.
